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| When I was younger, my mom used to put this cream on my face every night. I despised it. It made my face feel so dirty. The cream was caked on, and it made me feel gross. As I grew older, I realized the importance of taking care of my skin. I noticed other people had issues with acne and blackheads, while my face was smooth as.. well, snow. This cream does wonders for me. It moisturizes and hydrates my skin. It makes my face look smooth and feel healthy. My mother use to make me use it on everything--bug bites, pimples, weird skin rashes, sunburns, you name it. I was always doubtful about it, but it worked. Bug bites and pimples went away quicker. Blemishes became virtually invisible. Sunburns were bearable and went away two times quicker than they normally would. Nowadays, I trust it. I use it on my face everyday after I shower. I even use it on weird skin rashes and the occasional break out. :)
My boyfriend has really bad sunburned skin on his face. He's Caucasian, and so has very fair skin. He's always red and scratching at the flaky skin from his forehead and cheeks. I told him that it was really bad for him to do that and I gave him a jar of Hazeline Snow. He looked so doubtful. That jar sat in his medicine cabinet in his bathroom for about two months before I asked if he had been using the cream. He said he forgets, or that he's too lazy, or that he doesn't like the feeling of the cream on his face. I made him put it on one night when he slept over and the next morning after he washed his face -- I kid you not -- his face was so much smoother. He looked so much more alive and healthy. I told him "I told you so!" and he shrugged it off. While he did believe in the power of the cream, he's still just too lazy to use it.
Everytime I talk to other people about this cream, they tell me they have never heard of it. They doubt the things it does and think that if they use it, it will make them break out, or melt their face, or turn their skin green. Someone told me it was a Chinese thing. It might be, because the only people I know who have used this cream or even heard of it have been Chinese. I do see it a lot in Chinese supermarkets though, and I haven't seen it in any other stores. Do you have a skin product that you swear by?
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| I went to work out with my boyfriend and his best friend today, and one thing I noticed is that a lot more people stared at me today. Mind you, most of these people are middle aged to really old Chinese people. I'm a 19 year old Chinese/Vietnamese girl. And my boyfriend is white. His best friend, also white. So, yes. I did get a lot of weird looks and stares. But that's not the point of this blog.
We did some cardio, and I wanted to do some more but the guys didn't. So I told them they could just go do weights while I finished. I walked over to them, and they were in the free weights section of the room. I felt like there was too much testosterone for me, so I went over to the weight machines. I started working on my legs. Now, when I work out, I tend to look around at people a lot. After my first two sets, I stopped and looked around. I found one guy looking over his shoulder at me and when I made eye contact with him, he turned back around and continued his reps. I looked around again, and this guy in front of me was blatantly watching me use the machine. I asked if he needed the machine. He smiled and said no. So I continued on my third set, only to see out of the corner of my eye another guy looking at me. Normally when I work out, I work out with my friend, and I don't notice the people around me. But when I'm alone, I tend to notice more and more people looking, which didn't bother me too much. But for some reason today it did. I finished my 5th set and walked over to my boyfriend. I told him that there were too many guys watching me. His faced completely changed. His attitude had completely changed. He became stubborn and moody.
We three decided to go have some pho, and while we were waiting for our food, my boyfriend went to the restroom and his best friend asked me if I was bugged. I told him I just didn't understand why he was all moody. He told me it was probably because I told him that other guys were checking me out. This threw me. I thought he would want to know if something like that happened. He said that the opposite would be what should happen. "He doesn't want people checking you out, so he wouldn't want to know if they are".
Is that true? Do guys not want to know if someone is checking out their girls? Honestly, I'd want to know if some girl was gawking at my guy. But maybe it's different between the genders. Girls, do you want to know if some girl is checking your guy out? Should I not have said anything?
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| A lot of you have brought up age. Just to let you know, I just turned 19 in August. I know I'm not real old, but I'm definitely not a high schooler either. You say that since I'm of age, I should be able to do what I want and not have them control me. Wrong. I guess you kind of have to live with my parents to understand them. Or maybe you don't. Maybe I'm just afraid of them.
You also gave the idea to teach him Chinese values & the language. Not so easy considering I don't even know enough Cantonese to be able to carry on a conversation for very long. As for the culture/values, I don't know much about that either. I have a very distant relationship with my parents, which is part of the reason it's so hard to talk to them about this. I guess I wouldn't know how to sit them down and tell them about him.
We haven't been dating for too long. About 4 months really. But I'm tired of hiding it. I just want them to be aware of what's going on and accept it. I want to know that I am able to date who I want and won't be looked down upon. It's especially hard because I rarely see him and when I do, it's because I'm either sneaking out or sneaking him in. I think you also have to know that I'm not treated as if I'm 19. I'm treated as if I'm 9. My parents have this whole concept of "you live under my roof, you live with my rules". And I'm fine with that, minus the whole not being allowed out, and not being allowed to date.
I think I forgot to mention that, too. I'm not allowed to date until after I get out of college. I don't agree with this at all (obviously) but I want to be honest with them. But seeing as they're so strict, it's hard.
Somebody mentioned my comment about not being able to click with Chinese men. It's not that I'm not willing to. Believe me. I lived in Daly City for 14 years and that city is populated with Filipino and Chinese people. I currently live in San Francisco and a lot of my guy friends are Chinese. I just happened to meet my boyfriend and we clicked really well. I'm not a person who looks at nationality as a big deal. I could care less what you are. As long as we click, then we're cool.
Thanks for all your suggestions though!
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| My parents are very traditional Chinese parents. They don't want me dating anyone who is not Chinese. Currently, I have a very white boyfriend. I have nothing against Chinese men. I just have never been able to find anyone that I clicked with. My first boyfriend was half Japanese/half Irish & Italian. My second boyfriend was half Chinese/half Portuguese, German & French. They knew about my second boyfriend, but didn't think he was "Chinese enough". My parents know my current boyfriend, but they know him as just my friend. They have suspected some things, and have asked me if we were dating, but I can't tell them that we are. Not yet. I'm not quite ready to see my parents' heads blow up from anger. Actually, no I take that back. It's mostly my dad that has an issue with my dating someone who isn't Chinese. My mom doesn't seem to mind TOO much. Although, she would prefer if he was Chinese.
I know that if he was Chinese, my parents would absolutely love him.
This definitely makes things hard for my boyfriend because he wants to tell my parents, I'm just not ready to deal with the drama that will come with that confession.
How can I talk to my parents about my dating someone they could potentially love/hate?
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